It is a known fact that the Indian audience is obsessed with daily soap operas and sometimes they get so indulged into these that they try to adapt the qualities or activities of these taboo tv serials. But since our society is progressing at a rapid speed and we have well-educated people now who are writing these serials, do you think taking up taboo topics is now becoming a trend to attract the audience or is it legit?
Shows which have taken taboo topics like surrogacy, re-marriage, live-in relationship, relationship with an elder or younger opposite sex or meet someone online have not worked successfully in the industry.
These have not worked because our Indian audiences are not used to talking about these kinds of relationships or topics in public or in out open. But recently, there have been shows that are doing well while talking about taboo topics of the society and are portraying the characters pretty well. One of these shows is Patiala Babes.
Patiala Babes is a show about mother-daughter’s struggle to fit in the society after the mother decides to divorce her husband. The show is gripping & interesting because here, the daughter is the one who is portrayed as a strong character to support her mother. She tries to give her mother’s dreams & ambitions wings so that she can learn to fly and not isolate. The relationship between the duo is too real to be showcased on screen.
You can instantly feel the connection between the two, and you might not feel that they are not really mother-daughter in real lives. They deal with normal daily struggles of a divorced woman like, not finding a place to live, not finding a job, neighbours always pointing fingers at her. In one of the episodes, the mother was not allowed to be near the place where the entire society was celebrating a festival because she was separated by her husband!
Do women only have their identity when she is married to a man? It doesn’t matter how unhappy she is in the marriage, but for the sake of society, she has to accept everything? Are we even for real now?
Initially, the mother is shown as a perfect daughter-in-law who is at her in-law’s house taking care of them while her husband is living his life abroad. They have a daughter who is born & brought up with a modern & liberal thinking mindset is bold & outspoken. The two are thinking about the husband & father calling them one day and asking them to come abroad and settle down with him. But sadly, this never happens.
When the husband returns back, he comes along with another woman after which the daughter gets agitated & takes a step for her mother, and they both leave the house. The taboo daughter doesn’t want to live in a place where her mother is not respected. *Smooth move but a little too overdramatized, don’t you think? We mean, it’s not practical to leave the house then and there.*
It’s amusing to watch that a woman who just lost her home, support, in-laws & might be going through some real emotional stress of separation is shown as a strong woman on screen after her daughter encourages her to be. The point we want to highlight here is not that she should be portrayed as a vulnerable person but cut her some slack man! We don’t get it that how emotional & mental stress can be sidelined in the bigger picture of trying to be independent when today, these two aspects of human beings are being given importance.
What we are trying to say is, rather than showing her as a strong, independent woman who can fight against all the odds of the society, she could have been manifested as giving time to sink all of that in. Not scared just a little soft turn towards her character. Later in the show, she could have shown fighting against society and achieving whatever she wanted to. Why we are saying to show the sad part of divorce is because that’s how they feel.
And portraying woman, as someone who can go against all the odds to fight for what’s right is true, but they also have a side, which is vulnerable, needy (need comfort) & soft. Why is that not shown? She is only shown to be protecting her fierce taboo daughter. Firstly, does our Indian society have such daughters? Okay, maybe we do but do we give them enough freedom? Do we? No, we don’t. We label such daughters as rebellious or uncultured. That’s really sad.
Next, coming back to how divorce can affect a woman; Financially! If the divorce is mutual, both parties are happy but usually divorces shown on-screen are not mutual. Similarly, the show’s divorce track is messy where the husband who was involved with another woman, calls his wife of a bad character because she lives in a house which is owned by a man (he’s the owner of the house; Hanuman) is just inhuman right?
Let me tell you that the man was a cop. We mean that it’s true that man who is not ready to pay the alimony will go to any extent to protect the “fortune” he has, but pointing fingers at your wife’s character when she is all clean while you were busy making your life happening. Is that right?
The daughter tries and is still trying to make her mother realize that she needs to make her own way in the world to shine. She gets her mother re-married, which a great step according to the makers & us. But we are not really sure how much truth is there in this step if we consider our society.
Let’s be real and talk about the fact that we don’t accept fierce, outspoken daughters. We don’t accept a woman who walks out of a marriage. We don’t accept that the man can be wrong too. We are not saying that they are always wrong, but when it’s genuine, you’ll know.
Patiala Babes is doing great in the audience, and they have appreciated & accepted this concept with open minds & hearts, but when will they accept this in their own taboo households is the central question here. The actors are just doing their job and trying their bit to change the society’s mindset, but it is we who have to accept that it’s okay for a woman to speak up when she feels like.
It’s okay for a woman to walk out of a marriage is she is not happy. It’s okay for her to get married again if she feels like getting married. We don’t have to be God and judge her for all the choices she has made because we don’t have that right.
There is another show that is going on air about the father-daughter equation and daily struggles without a mother in their life. According to the promos shown & the title “Mere Dad Ki Dulhan”, it seems pretty obvious that the daughter will get his father taboo married again. He will find love again & would want to settle down. This show is a different take on re-marriage because it’s from a man’s point of view and his equation with his daughter.
Some fathers are sensitive towards their children and would never re-marry because they have a thought that maybe in future, my children will feel neglected. So we’ll have to wait to find out how things & turn of events happen on this show and how audiences react to this. It’s basically called the second innings of life because the actors are in the mid-30s and falling in love after 30 is a huge step.
Talking about making changes in society, we live in the 21st century, which is a very progressive yet, laidback one. On the one hand, we want the concept of love marriage, live-in relationship & re-marriage to be never spoken off but on the other hand, we watch shows that are made on the same taboo topics. What we are trying to understand here is, are we ready to accept the change or change is already happening but we don’t know that as of now?
We read news online or watch the news, and we think about what a great step it is in our society that is progressing. But are we really accepting these major steps in our own houses? If we ask the writers of the show, we usually get to hear that they take inspiration from the real society & public but what taboo society are they looking at? We don’t see any middle-aged woman being accepted by society when she says that she wants to get married. Or even if she is accepted, she is asked so many questions about her previous marriage that she feels guilty about even thinking of having a life.
But if we talk about a man getting re-married, it’s acceptable. Why? Because he’s responsible to take his generation forward and woman is the only one that could help, eh? It’s so demeaning & hurtful that if you live in Indian society and you’re a man, you are seen as a respected person no matter whatever and however you choose to live. But at the same time, if you’re a modern, independent & taboo bold woman, you are listed as characterless or too much for the society. Why do we, as a society, have to label how a woman should be?
If a man walks out of the marriage, the woman is to be blamed; if a woman walks out of the marriage, the woman is to be blamed? Why? It’s so sickening that we have to bear & live in a society where on the one hand, actresses like Deepika, Priyanka, Anushka, Sonam, etc. have been empowered by their husbands & in-laws to be independent, strong & live the lives they want.
And on another hand, we have the women that you see in your everyday life that are miserable at their houses because their husbands beat them every night, or she is bound to be at home and take care of her in-laws, or she is not allowed to work. They have absolutely no say in the taboo house whether it is a financial decision, professional decision, or even when it is about having sex. That’s how marital rape came up.
There was a show that was on air a few months back “Ladies Special” which was based on four independent women. Their daily life struggles and household struggles were also shown on the show. In that show, there was a story of a woman who got married to a doctor who was already involved with another doctor. The two got married because of parental taboo pressure, and the guy gave up on his love. But the woman doctor didn’t. She stood up for her right as she invested so much into that relationship, but it all went into vain.
The male doctor decided to stick with both of them, but his plan was ruined when his wife got to know the truth. She decided to leave him and walk out of a loveless marriage. The show went off-air for low TRPs as well as production issues. What we are trying to point here is the fact that women shouldn’t be just portrayed as a supporting system or homemaker but also as an individual.
TV Actors, writers, producers or directors are trying to bring a change in a society that is only ready to watch all of that happening either on-screen or their neighbor’s house. Not there! Maybe there is a section of people who are prepared to accept all of these changes because of taboo awareness & education nowadays but are your relatives or ancestors ready?
Do we really preach or accept what we see on screen, or it’s just a part of our daily lives for an hour? Why are we not ready to take taboo women as our equals but as an object or a prop we need to survive.? These shows are bringing change, but where is the change? Is it happening already and we (society) have no idea about it or is it a change we want to bring in the society because it’s right?
